Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I Hate Homework

LOS ANGELES, Ca - A 30-year old Burbank woman was astounded to discover this week that UCLA Extension courses require attendees to "learn stuff", a roommate reported. "I shoulda taken that wine-tasting course instead," Tara Ochs muttered, as she begrudgingly logged off her MySpace page and began an assignment due tomorrow.

UCLA Extension course "Basic Skills in Writing for the News Media" is offered every semester at UCLA, and is a pre-requisite to obtaining a Journalism Certificate through the highly respected university. It's title is "misleading" though, complains the Burbank resident. "News Media could be anything," insists Ochs, "from fashion magazines to entertainment industry broadcasts."

Ochs, who is only enrolled in the single once-a-week Winter semester course, has expressed interest in a career change, specifically in the field of Video Game Journalism, said a long-time friend. Her penchant for playing console-based RPGs was also noted by her roommate, Ryan Smith.

But the UCLA course is no tutorial mode for impulsive career-hoppers, and it does not lend itself to a gifted imagination. "This course is not for writers with a capital W," warns the professor of the Basic Skills course. A career in journalism is a low-paying, thankless job which requires self-motivation and a great deal of reporting skills, according to Professor Gougis.

Which is not what the former-actor Ochs wants to hear. "Why do I continue to flush out career paths like this? Acting, video games, journalism? Where's the driving urge to be a lawyer or an engineer?" Ochs' parents have also been asking their daughter similar questions.

Tara Ochs is still enrolled at UCLA, as of press time.


Overdroid said...

This article was very well written. Where do I read more of the writer's work?

Nic said...

You're still an actor, sacré bleu!

Tara Ochs said...

The writer is currently freelancing for such publications as this one and a private journal with a very elite subscription base of herself.

Tara Ochs said...

CORRECTION: Upon reviewing certain tax documents and updated Union membership records, it has been discovered that the Burbank resident Tara Ochs IS currently working as an Actor. Our most recent article described her as a "former-actor". We apologize as this is not the case.

Anonymous said...

The damned press. They can't get anything right.

I heard the actress in question was planning to release a sex tape to help her career.

Anonymous said...

A journalist who weaves herself into her stories?

Last time this happened, as I recall, there was an ill-fated ride through Las Vegas with lots of Fear and/or Loathing, as well as liquor.

Should you want to recreate this particular angle of the gonzo journalist's adventure, I'm happy to ride shotgun with you, my dear.

Dr. Hunter S. Housworth

Anonymous said...

The problem here being that Ochs girls just wanna have fun. That's why I went out partying last night instead of staying in and reading like a good little gull. Did you get my message? PHS blast from the past fo real.