Friday, January 19, 2007

You Told Me So

..or I'm wrong, you're right. In a blind taste test, I would recognize the flavor of my foot 9 times out of 10. Tastes like humility with a dash of that powder I use to prevent blisters during long runs. Now you probably want to know what has earned you this recognition.

I shot a Diet Coke commercial yesterday. Ah.. its all coming back to you now. That's right...

Last Friday I had an audition for a Diet Coke commercial. Auditions have been picking up lately, which is both good and bad. Because I am still stuck working all day shifts at Asia de Cuba (a WHOLE 'nother blog), each day brings the fear that shift and audition will conflict. Today they did and I missed an audition for Lowe's. PISSED. Anyway, I go to this audition last week for Diet Coke, and all they want me to do is: have a conversation with the girl across from you while drinking your Diet Coke (blech). Then, Finish your drink. Then, try to take a sip from your empty glass, notice its empty, and give that signature Tara-smirk. Easy, right? Sigh... Wrong.

Take 1: Don't ask me why I do this, but when they say Action, I take the can of coke nearby and add more to the glass!! I DON'T KNOW WHY!! Stop asking!! I just did it, which as we all know, means it took more sips to finish that baby. CUT!

Take 2: Less coke this time, and no creative urge over-taking me, I go to chug down the soda in one brave gulp... except I take a huge chunk of ice with me, which in awkward close-up, I now have to SPIT back into the cup. Charming, no?

No. The rest of the day I spent bending the ear of anyone who would listen, complaining that my career was a joke, that I couldn't even drink a coke on cue. I was miserable. Mom heard about it, Shane, Nic... The entire cast of my weekly improv show "PD!".

Callback. No cans or chunks of ice nearby. Booking. Searching for recipes for low-fat humble pie.

Yes, the worst audition is the one you book. Thanks, for making my career choice even more enigmatic. The shoot went fine. I felt a bit like a can of coke, myself. Obviously we all know who is the star of this spot. They shot the back of my shoulder and hand, reaching for an empty can. No drinking for yours truly (thank God). The word on the set is that the spot will air during the Academy Awards. Let's hope I'm still in it when that happens.

And yes, you won't hear me complaining about another audition for at least a week. I couldn't bear your signature smirks.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Back to School

I used to have a re-ocurring dream where I would be starting a new semester at college, except that for some reason I couldn't remember when or where any of my classes were. Apparently I had signed up for a full load, but not written a thing down. If you ever see my college planner, you'll know this is a VERY likely scenario. After a sleepless night of running around my nightmare campus, I would wake up and wonder how I went through three years of FSU without this exact situation ever happening once.

That familiar lump in my stomach has taken up residence again as I apply for a single extension course at UCLA. I'm going to be taking an evening class, Basic Skills in Writing for the News Media. Or is it News Media Skills of Basic Writing? Which is more correct? Or Correct-er? Should I be double-spacing after each sentence? Will I walk into a classroom full of twenty-year-olds laughing at me for showing up without my pants on? As I write this, the UCLA webpage has informed me I must wait 24 hours before I can know if I'm enrolled in the class! I'm a ball of nerves and I haven't even bought my textbook yet... Oh no. I have to go to the campus bookstore. I'm too old to be in a campus bookstore. They'll think I'm an Alum, looking for logo sweats. Who is UCLA anyway? The Trojans? No, crap, that's USC.

What I find most amusing is that through all of this, as I try to talk myself down "off the ledge" with sensible worse-case scenario lectures, I realize: I'm not afraid of wasting $300. No. What scares me more than that is the thought of failing this class. I could live with wasting a few Wednesday nights learning that I don't give a crap about non-fiction. As long as I get an "A".

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Lucky 07

Its lucky 7, its the year of James Bond (007, duh). Oh my God, its already 2007. How did this happen? I moved to LA in '01. I'm feeling so overwhelmed I can barely decide what to write in this blog. I felt like I needed to communicate with all of you - after all, two major holidays have just passed. But all I've been doing is working at the restaurant again and trying to figure out how to audition, earn money, do shows and take classes at night, all while not going insane. I certainly can't buy a new gaming system for myself, not right now. I just finished Kingdom Hearts 2, and I'm experiencing that usual post-game disorientation. I wander around the house, unsure of what a normal person does with minutes and hours. I stuff some of them into my new book, Eldest (its the follow-up to Eragon - DONT GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!). The house is relatively clean, I suppose I could do a load of laundry. I've even found time to start running again. But with this new year upon me, I suppose I ought to be stablishing more lofty goals. I've picked out a Journalism class at UCLA that I think I will take, and that's about the extent of my resolutions to date. I'm afraid I can't offer you much of anything insightful or inspiring these days. I'm sorry. I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.