Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Don't Buy Star Wars Lego 2 for the DS

It has to be posted somewhere. I am appalled at the nerve of Lucas Arts, Amaze Ent, Nintendo, etc etc for releasing this mockery. First off, I bought SWLego2 for the PS2 for my brother this past Christmas, and he practically crapped himself with joy. I was officially declared best gift giver EVER. I played SWL2 on my roommates PSP and had to lock the door to keep him from taking it away from me. Until I couldn't watch the screen anymore through all the drool. What a brilliant game - hilarious, fun, nostalgic... Good personalized platforming fun. And so when I saw the DS version sitting proudly on the shelves, cleverly disguising itself as the exact same game, I bit. I practically knocked over an 8-year-old debating the Pokemon releases to get my copy. FORTY dollars that is so GONE now, that I would have rather mailed it to my cellphone company. I should have bought 4 tickets to Bridge to Terabithia. It would have been a better way to spend my cash.

This game is a textbook example of the things that can go wrong when repackaging games for different consoles. It's clear after a few minutes that the power of the DS was so minimal that most of the gameplay had to be drastically trimmed down. No more funny jokes like a pair of stormtroopers bathing in a hottub. All I got was one lousy rebel taking a pee in the Hoth station, and he didn't even react when I shot him while his Lego pants were down, except to shake his head disdainfully. Which is what I now do to Lucas Arts. Shame, Shame, Shame. The graphics engine is ABYSMAL. My characters and other objects are constantly disappearing. The camera gets stuck behind walls, the puzzles have been stripped down to the most mundane tasks, and I have had to restart levels a number of times because of glitches like moronic AI getting "caught" in repetitive regeneration. The second screen is practically useless, except for switching characters, which I do on a regular basis to fix glitches. I LOVE Star Wars AND Legos, so naturally I fought with all my heart to like this game. I trudged through Chapters 4 and 5, but by the time I got to 6, I couldn't take it anymore. I am offended, and I want my money back. I want my hours back, too. By my calculation, Lucas Arts and company owe me about $167.32. Please do me a favor and don't buy this crap.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

And another thing

There's a pile of stories on the floor next to my blog that need to be folded and put away. I can't even face this blog until I get through that pile, and frankly, I haven't had the willpower to relive some of those events with anything other than a whiny recounting. Can you understand what I mean? I'll give you the laundry list, and then you'll get where I'm coming from. OK, let's see - when was the last time I blogged? Hang on, I'll go check, even I've forgotten at this point...

Oh yeah! HA. That's funny. I was talking about positive thinking. So then: My Diet Coke commercial aired with me thankfully recognizable - you've probably seen me if you watch American Idol. I'm the one they refuse to vote off. Just kidding. And then, let's see - my car got broken into, the window shattered, the top ripped (it's a convertible), and my wallet with all my cards, makeup, and clothes were in the bag that was taken. PS - If you are ever on the receiving end of a story about a car break-in, PLEASE do EVERYTHING in your power to resist asking "why the person left their bag on the seat." This is, in my book, the MOST ignorant thing anyone can say, short of blatant racism or jokes about suicide. Even if you say it while hugging the person and/or laughing, SERIOUSLY, if you learn nothing else from my blog: DO NOT make a comment about leaving a bag/purse/anything on a car seat.

You see what I'm saying about laundry? Anyway, that break-in was 2 days before my birthday, which was made awesome by my stellar roommates. And then I spent a week home in Pensacola celebrating my Dad's 60th birthday and retirement. After that I started performing in a new show at ACME created by the Overdroid which is called Cartoon Overlord and is really hard to do but fun. It happens on Sundays. And I booked another commercial, this one for Direct Energy (a regional spot which will air in Texas). The booking is especially notable because it is my first with my new commercial agent which makes them and me both breathe a sigh of relief.

Each of these events/updates deserves its own blog. But I'm afraid I may never blog again if I try to catch up with all of that. Besides, I feel like I've told that damn break-in story enough times already to fill a bible. So there's the brief catch-up. I'm sorry I haven't been more forthcoming with the blogs. Hopefully we can get back on track now, you and me.

One other thing I'm realizing as I read this, it seems like I've been very busy, but truly what's filled up most of my time is none of these things. Which makes me think, if I really put my mind to it, I could be a robot. A very productive robot. Hmm.