I was all ready to give my agent hell. There are some who would characterize me as a bit of a push-over, a doormat, perhaps a martyr, but I was about to prove them all wrong. You see, I know a last straw when I see one. Its yellow, and... dry.
I got a call from a casting person who we'll just call Lynne, saying my agent had "f***ed up." I had been requested for a commercial audition and my agent had never gotten the message, much less passed the message on to me. Lynne strongly inferred that, had I been there, I would have had a job. It was the bittersweet end of a long chapter of missed calls, disorganization, unavailability, and general laziness on the part of my agent. Sadly, I wasn't surprised. Lynne referred me to a new commercial agent, and I was on the phone with them the same day, scheduling an interview.
The only thing left to do was confront my agency. Here's the problem with that. My agency also represents me theatrically. So if I cut them loose commercially, which is where I make all my money currently, then I lose them theatrically as well. Theatrical jobs are anything and everything that will impress your friends and family, from movies to television. Commercial agents are fairly easy to land, depending on how many sheep you want to share the fold with, and with my resume, I'm not worried. The theatrical agent? Not so much. Was all this drama worth losing my theatrical representation? Well, yes. Time to set the SS Tara out to sea, and find out what kind of waters she can handle.
So I got my agent on the phone and waited patiently for the excuse. It would be like a pebble to this stone giant. My agent began: "I'm sincerely sorry about what happened yesterday, but the truth is -
I don't want to do this anymore."
OK, so maybe it was David's pebble, in a fairly unexpected slingshot. She went on to tell me that the office is shutting down, the money's not there, neither is the passion and nobody is capable enough to take over the reigns. (Does this sound familiar? My therapist would nod smugly right now, had I not stopped seeing her because she cost money I'd rather spend on shoes). My agent would help me find other representation, but it was end of the rails for this train.
So here I am, set adrift. A free agent without an Agent. I feel a bit like Custer, maybe. So I'm probably not gonna die, but there is this feeling that if I can't find new representation, maybe its time to move on. I've always been big on signs from above, (asking for them, misinterpreting them, failing to apply them to the bigger picture). This is a turning point for me. Either I will find the right agent and so will begin the history of a successful actor, or maybe I just needed someone to take off the golden handcuffs and put me in a position of nothing-to-lose.
My life has felt like a holding pattern recently. Now I really am cut loose. No boyfriend, no agent, no debt, and I'm caught up on the Heroes episodes. Now what?