Pumpkin Party

This past Sunday I hosted a pumpkin carving party. We had Pumpkin Soup, Pumpkin Pasta, Pumpkin Ale, and Pumpkin Pie. There were prizes given away for the best pumpkins and I think everyone had a good time.

I hate throwing parties. I turn into a crazy person. I spend all day cleaning and buy WAY too much food and booze, and then I sit around worrying that no one will come over. Eventually somebody shows up, and then somebody else, and before you know it, we have what's known as a party. There weren't too many folks this go round, I guess Sunday is a tough day to throw a bash, even my roommates Ryan and Joelle barely made it towards the end. But I just make myself sick wondering if people are having a good time or if they want to leave. The music wasn't very loud - I thought, Oh God, Everyone is going to want to leave. Nobody ate the food - the second they walked in the door - so of course I was convinced it tasted bad. It wasn't until after the eighth compliment that I relaxed enough to stop worrying about it. I was circling constantly, barely talking to any of my friends, to make sure everyone had beer - and then telling myself the whole to time to sit down and carve, since everyone already knew where the beer was. Honestly, I'm getting tense right now just thinking about it. I have wonderful friends - I think they would know how to have a good time waiting at the DMV. I just have a party phobia.

I once heard a story about a girl who was unpopular in high school, and her parents threw her a huge Christmas party - they rented out the local dance hall, hired a band and caterers, there were even printed invites. Only three people showed. They quitely made there way through the buffet line, ate and left. The girl and her Dad danced alone to the music in the middle of the hall, which must have been decked to the nines. When ever I think about that little girl, I want to cry for everyone that ever throws a party - and ends up dancing alone. So it looks like I dodged that bullet once again, but I think I'm done throwing parties for the year. Too many ulcers.

Spoken in Haste

I almost took that last blog down, because I wrote it when I was very sad, and as is common in my profession, it was super dramatic. It made Mom cry. And Dad sent an email. Of course, Dad sends an email every thirty seconds, so I can't really count that as a phenomenon. The point is, I rather boldy inferred that I don't have any friends out here that are "close", like "family". That's not true. In fact, I have many friends out here that I could turn to in a time of need, and a few really special folks that have been supportive of me through thick and lots of thin. I guess what I failed to acknowledge in my cloudy moment was that being an adult with adult friends is sort of new to me. When I was a kid, if you were my best friend (and I had about ten at any given moment), I could prove it by looking in my backpack for folded up notes with signatures like BFF and LYLAS. When I got home from school, if you were my bestest new/old friend, we would talk on the telephone for about an hour, and then take another hour to hang up - you go first, no, YOU go first. No, YOU. Hang on, MOM! I'm hanging up right now! OK I gotta go, you hang up, OK? CMON, I gotta go! YOU HANG UP!

It was so easy back then.

I've thought about inviting the following people over to have a big slumber party, but that doesn't mean the same thing now that Mom and Dad don't live with me. But here are just a few of the folks I should have mentioned in my last blog. Call it my BFF list. There's more, but I thought I'd introduce you to a few:

My roomie Ryan - a puppy in mud. Ryan and I lucked out last year when we became roomies and discovered that we have more in common than Dean Koontz and Stephen King. We love to play video games together, and he's the one who gave me the attitude adjustment this past Sunday when I sang my "I ain't got nobody" song.

Sara and Matt Young - I can't shake these fools. No matter how hard I try, they are the coolest couple a single girl could model her secret marriage fantasy after. Matt I've known since college, and Sara I met when I moved out - they let me stay at their apartment when I first came to check out LA. Hey, I moved here didn't I? So obviously its all their fault.

Joseph Limbaugh - JoJo McDeli-Dad and about fifty other nicknames. Joseph is the director at the theatre (ACME) where I do comedy and if it weren't for him I'd probably be allergic to improv. Our friendship began ten years ago when we played together at Dad's Garage. He also will kick anyone's ass at DK racing, but not necessarily MarioKart.

Josh Flaum - Josh and I really became friends when we worked on the Underground together. I can't believe how much I love talking to this guy, and we still have topics yet undiscussed... He is smarter than the Atom Bomb.

Anni Lundy - I like redheads born in August. So this was a perfect fit. Anni and I met at ACME and, well, its obvious to everybody but us that we are totally gay for each other. Come on, that trip to Big Bear?? Nobody was fooled, not even her cool hubbie Dan. Seriously. Its gross. Oh, AND we are running the Vegas marathon together. HELLO! GAY CITY!

Tania Gonzalez - Whew. Thats me breathing a sigh of relief that this girl is back in my life. We were friends in college, but out here in LA its a whole new ballgame. She makes me laugh, and again with the awesome inspiring relationship - her husband Mike Yav is one of may favorite peeps in the universe also.

Deb and Brendan O'Neill - Thats right, you cynics! They are married! Like that and the Red Sox winnning the Series are the two greatest events of all time! I met Deb and Brendan one weekend in Sarasota at FSU's graduate theatre program, but it wasn't until I moved out here... well its a long story, but now we work together at Asia de Cuba, Deb and I - and Brendan is my Maggiano's hook-up. Also a mean Guitar-Hero-ist.

OK, I should take a break from this list, which is written in order of physical attractiveness. (Couples' scores are averaged). I just don't want Mom and Dad to think I don't have pals out here. But maybe more importantly, I want to make sure I don't forget.

We R Family

This weekend I went to my cousin Amy's wedding. She married her boyfriend of seven years, Kevin, in a church in LaGrange, Kentuckey. It was a gorgeous fall wedding, we giggled through the whole ceremoony and danced through the whole reception. My entire family on my Mom's side was there, for the first time in... well let's not get started on the "when was the last time" debate. Its been awhile. I came back home to LA today and I'm just as blue as can be. There's just nothing more important in this world than family, and its what I'm missing most of the time out here. After being here for over five years, I feel as alone as if I'd just moved out. I can't really help it, I guess. All my life I've moved every couple years, so that the only people I've known all my life have been my immediate family. I see how other folks out here have made their close friends into family, and I know I should do that, but I haven't. Not really. I have alot of good friends out here, but no one that I can say is like a brother or sister. I know that's part of the reason I fell so hard for Nick - his amazingly supportive and welcoming family, which included more people he wasn't related to than he was. I'm learning more about myself day after day, and I'm realizing that I need my family. I recognized that sense of relief when I came back to the restaurant - my friends at Asia de Cuba had started to feel like family, and when I left them last year, I didn't realize how lonely I'd be. I'm not discounting the many wonderful friends I have out here, I'm simply recognizing a level to which I haven't let them into my life. The person I was this weekend around my cousins hasn't been around here in a long time. I realize that I have to build a family for myself, outside of the ones back home, or else I'll be heading home myself really soon. Maybe that is the best choice for me - Mom and Dad certainly think so. They're usually right. At the end of the day, I'd rather be at a hundred cousin's weddings than on a hundred TV shows. Its good to learn things about yourself.